Well here we are again, I realised today that I havent cried in quite a while now, how cool is that. I even managed to go to work and sit with my manager for 1/2 an hour and I cycled all the way there, wow things are really starting to fall into place now. It seems like so long since I could honestly say that I am having fun and enjoying myself. Now dont get me wrong, I still have problems trying to go out on my own and I feel uncomfortable in crowds, I would much rather be on a 1-1 basis when talking to people and writing is sometimes still easier than talking but I feel so much better in myself. I shocked myself today too, when I rang up to say that I was on my way I was doing the usual and shaking and started with palpitations but I didnt give in to them, I confess I did a bit of shopping and blew my tires up, a bit of distration on the way but I DID IT.
I have also had 2 people comment on me today, 1 was my manader, she said that my voice has changed, I am a lot calmer and sound more confident. I did say previously that by talking confidently it can help you feel more confident and that seems to be helping. I still let my words run away when I am nervous, as she acknowledged as the last conversation we had on the phone I actually stopped myself and told myself to slow down and take a breath. The other person was Ellen, she popped down this evening and said about how much better I was looking (she hasn't seen me for a couple of weeks as Andrew is away), All these remarks go a long way to making me feel more positive about myself.
Hey, guess what, Bailey is coming to stay tomorrow for the weekend and I cannot wait. I havent seen him for almost a week and I hope he is looking forward to it as much as I am although he probably isnt even aware. He is such a lovely dog and I honestly think that he has got a lot to do with my recovery as the last 2 weeks I seem to have come around in leaps and bounds. I have bought him some food bowls and a mat for them to go on, food, treats, toys, blanket for his bed, rawhides and one of those meaty bones, there is probably lots more in the cupboard for him too. I even tidied the garden up for him so that he wouldnt have to walk through all the dead leaves, I also managed to stand on the wooden stairs that go up to my top garden and have them collapse under me! I told Ian what had happened but before I did I made sure that I put the garden chairs in front of them so that he wouldnt notice until after being informed, I dont think he was very pleased but at the same time its not my fault that the wood had gone rotten with all the bad weather that we have had over the last couple of years, no matter how much you protect it wood will only withstand so much water!!
Anyway its time to go as I need my beauty sleep before the big day, if I am not back over the weekend then I will tell you all about Bailey and my adventures over the weekend on Monday.
Bye
Jannette x
I have also had 2 people comment on me today, 1 was my manader, she said that my voice has changed, I am a lot calmer and sound more confident. I did say previously that by talking confidently it can help you feel more confident and that seems to be helping. I still let my words run away when I am nervous, as she acknowledged as the last conversation we had on the phone I actually stopped myself and told myself to slow down and take a breath. The other person was Ellen, she popped down this evening and said about how much better I was looking (she hasn't seen me for a couple of weeks as Andrew is away), All these remarks go a long way to making me feel more positive about myself.
Hey, guess what, Bailey is coming to stay tomorrow for the weekend and I cannot wait. I havent seen him for almost a week and I hope he is looking forward to it as much as I am although he probably isnt even aware. He is such a lovely dog and I honestly think that he has got a lot to do with my recovery as the last 2 weeks I seem to have come around in leaps and bounds. I have bought him some food bowls and a mat for them to go on, food, treats, toys, blanket for his bed, rawhides and one of those meaty bones, there is probably lots more in the cupboard for him too. I even tidied the garden up for him so that he wouldnt have to walk through all the dead leaves, I also managed to stand on the wooden stairs that go up to my top garden and have them collapse under me! I told Ian what had happened but before I did I made sure that I put the garden chairs in front of them so that he wouldnt notice until after being informed, I dont think he was very pleased but at the same time its not my fault that the wood had gone rotten with all the bad weather that we have had over the last couple of years, no matter how much you protect it wood will only withstand so much water!!
Anyway its time to go as I need my beauty sleep before the big day, if I am not back over the weekend then I will tell you all about Bailey and my adventures over the weekend on Monday.
Bye
Jannette x