Hmm, and a new day dawns, what will happen, no one can say!
Bit of a philosophic moment there but who cares. I can't make my mind up how I am feeling at the moment, one minute I am fine, next I just want to burst into tears, oh well, thats pretty much par for the course really so not sure why I am wrigning about it on here. I must admit though it does concern me from time to time that my emotions can be so all over the place, poor Ian, he gets the brunt of it as if I am going to snap its usually at him bless him. There again this can lead to some amusing moments when one of us snaps then the other snaps back, Ian will go off in a huff and a bit later will come back and apologise!! Now I am not saying that I am always right but I am female after all!! It was really funny when he had stopped smoking as I was irritable through my depression and he was ratty through lack of nicotine, talk about when worlds collide.
I have to admit that at the moment I am getting a bit fed up with comments about the length of time I was off, do people not realise that I was actually very ill, I mean, how can you be expected to work and concentrate when it is taking you all your time to not be suicidal. Some people do not seem to understand what depression is. I know I have said this before and I will say it again and again as it is true. Just because you dont have something like a broken leg or cold or any other physically obvious illness it doesnt mean that you are fine. When you suffer with depression, especially to the extent that I and many others like me suffer it is debilatating. It can stop you going out of your house, it can make you extremely scared, all of your feelings and emotions are on such a heightened level of sensitivity that it is impossible to keep them under control and just when you think that one thing is ok then something else will take over and put you back again. I once described the feeling as being on a spiral staircase, because it is spiral you cannot see the top, for every step forward there is nearly always one or two back. So long as you can keep going up, no matter how many times you fall back then you will eventually reach the top. Even better is if you have someone to help you as they become your handrail for support.
What I think people dont realise is that if you are not a sufferer of depression and you have a 'down' day, it is easy for you to pick yourself up, with depression this is almost impossible as the chemicals in your brain react and what should be a normal situation your head is fooled into thinking that it is something different and far worse. it is a never ending battle, that you fight every day
Bit of a philosophic moment there but who cares. I can't make my mind up how I am feeling at the moment, one minute I am fine, next I just want to burst into tears, oh well, thats pretty much par for the course really so not sure why I am wrigning about it on here. I must admit though it does concern me from time to time that my emotions can be so all over the place, poor Ian, he gets the brunt of it as if I am going to snap its usually at him bless him. There again this can lead to some amusing moments when one of us snaps then the other snaps back, Ian will go off in a huff and a bit later will come back and apologise!! Now I am not saying that I am always right but I am female after all!! It was really funny when he had stopped smoking as I was irritable through my depression and he was ratty through lack of nicotine, talk about when worlds collide.
I have to admit that at the moment I am getting a bit fed up with comments about the length of time I was off, do people not realise that I was actually very ill, I mean, how can you be expected to work and concentrate when it is taking you all your time to not be suicidal. Some people do not seem to understand what depression is. I know I have said this before and I will say it again and again as it is true. Just because you dont have something like a broken leg or cold or any other physically obvious illness it doesnt mean that you are fine. When you suffer with depression, especially to the extent that I and many others like me suffer it is debilatating. It can stop you going out of your house, it can make you extremely scared, all of your feelings and emotions are on such a heightened level of sensitivity that it is impossible to keep them under control and just when you think that one thing is ok then something else will take over and put you back again. I once described the feeling as being on a spiral staircase, because it is spiral you cannot see the top, for every step forward there is nearly always one or two back. So long as you can keep going up, no matter how many times you fall back then you will eventually reach the top. Even better is if you have someone to help you as they become your handrail for support.
What I think people dont realise is that if you are not a sufferer of depression and you have a 'down' day, it is easy for you to pick yourself up, with depression this is almost impossible as the chemicals in your brain react and what should be a normal situation your head is fooled into thinking that it is something different and far worse. it is a never ending battle, that you fight every day