Well I have been out today, I set myself the challenge of going to Country Park, this didnt quite work, I managed to get to Ferriby Road and turned back due to being so unfit!!! Mind you, I didnt go home, I wanted to but after it had taken me over an hour to get together the courage to go out I was not going to give in and go back as I would not go out again. Instead I went to my neighbour for a coffee with him and listened to his problems, I have to admit it wasnt easy but I did it and then I went shopping afterwards so all in all I spent over 3 hours out of the house. That may not seem like a lot but for me it was a real challenge, I even cried most of the way home from the shop, thank goodness it was cold so people will hopefully just think my eyes where watering. Even just writing this is hard work today, guess I am having an off day. I have to try and look at it like this or I will go back to a black place again.
I like to knit, I knit for pleasure, for relaxation, I knit just to knit. Now I realise that you will wonder why I am mentioning this but it is the one thing that I have been able to keep up during this time. I may not have done it as much or a well as I usually do but even my councillor wants me to keep it up. Apparently, it increases my concentration, activates my mind and also gives me problem solving skills. I think I am mentioning this as it seems that everytime I am in my dark place I always seem to have some kind of hobby that helps me out at the time. Once it was poetry, another time painting, and then another time was writing, pretty much the same as I am doing now, only difference is that I usually use pen and paper and then throw it once I am better.
It does help having a way of venting, keeping it all locked inside is not good for anyone, I just wish I would vent before I get really down. That way I may be able to get whats bothering me off my chest and stop the inevitable. That being said, most of the time I dont know what the reason is behind the blackness so I dont know if it would work.
Anyway, I am signing off now as I really am struggling to write, just feel as though I havent got anything important to say at the moment, actually that is not true, I have but I dont know how to put it into words.
Speak to you soon
I like to knit, I knit for pleasure, for relaxation, I knit just to knit. Now I realise that you will wonder why I am mentioning this but it is the one thing that I have been able to keep up during this time. I may not have done it as much or a well as I usually do but even my councillor wants me to keep it up. Apparently, it increases my concentration, activates my mind and also gives me problem solving skills. I think I am mentioning this as it seems that everytime I am in my dark place I always seem to have some kind of hobby that helps me out at the time. Once it was poetry, another time painting, and then another time was writing, pretty much the same as I am doing now, only difference is that I usually use pen and paper and then throw it once I am better.
It does help having a way of venting, keeping it all locked inside is not good for anyone, I just wish I would vent before I get really down. That way I may be able to get whats bothering me off my chest and stop the inevitable. That being said, most of the time I dont know what the reason is behind the blackness so I dont know if it would work.
Anyway, I am signing off now as I really am struggling to write, just feel as though I havent got anything important to say at the moment, actually that is not true, I have but I dont know how to put it into words.
Speak to you soon