Welcome to my world!
Who are you? some of you may ask, well here's a bit about myself.
My name is Jannette and I have suffered with depression for as long as I can remember.
I am 50 years old and the proud wife of Ian and mother to Richard and Andrew, these are my life. I also have a sort of daughter in law called Charlotte who I love to pieces (sort of as in her and Richard are living over the brush, yes I am old fashioned that way but learning to live with it)!! I also have a possible sort of daughter in law on the horizon called Ellen, she and Andrew have a very complicated relationship as I never know if they are together or not, so watch this space, I am!
I am presently undergoing councelling for my depression along with medication, I have been off work since October / November and have set up this blog for people to read. Hopefully it will help me as I will be using it as a way to express what is on my mind and how I am feeling, also, if there is any one else reading this that is suffering depression too it may help them to realise that they are not alone.
Living with depression is hard not only for the person suffering but the people around them.
I started with it when I hit my early teens, I had a bit of a rough upbringing and it has left me with a lot of hangups, some that I have learned to deal with, others that still rear their ugly heads even now. During this period of writing these will more than likely be written about as and when I feel the need.
Please dont think this is going to be all doom and gloom as once you get to know me you will realise that I cannot be miserable for ever, I have too much life in me, even when I am at an all time low (which I am just on my way back from) it cannot keep me down forever, sometimes you just need a 'time out' to help you recover. Again this is something I am presently gong through.
I hope to update this site at least once a week, preferrably more than this but if for some reason this doesnt happen to be quite as regular as this and you want to hear more then please bear with me. As you will appreciate (especially if your suffering with depression too) it is not always as easy to keep things on an even keel, oh listen to me, is that confidence or what, expecting people to want to read my thoughts!!
You will however realise by getting to know me that my mood swings can be very extreme. I can go from being the life and soul of the party to the wicked witch of the east / west in a split second. This will however deteriorate as my tablets start to take effect again.
I always tried to refuse tablets in the past but about five years ago I had to give in as I couldnt fight on my own any longer. Dont get me wrong, my family have been very supportive and over the years they have learnt to live with my mood swings but there comes a time in everyones life when, as in the words of Donna Summers 'Enough is Enough' wow she sang some brilliant songs, and what a voice, it is plainly obviouse to those of you that know me how she took lessons from me, oops there I go on a different tangent again!!!
Seriously though, after thirty years of fighting to keep the depression away I found myself at a place where I either went to doctors for some help or I just ended my life, I was at an all time low for the life that I had then lived, luckily I took the harder option and went to doctors. Some of you may say how is this the harder option but when you reach a place that you honestly dont think it is worth carrying on and you are not worthy of having a life the easier option is to end it all. That being said, I honestly didnt find either option easy, the thing that kept me going in all honesty was that I didnt want my sons to grow up having to tell their friends that they didn't have a mum because she didn't love them enough to stay with them. I have to admit that they are the ones that have kept me going all along, I cant honestly sat that Ian didnt have any influence on this, obviously he did but he is older and can look after himself, my kids, even when they are 100 will not be able to look after themselves to me.
Oh my goodness, now I have started writing I feel as though I could go on forever but I have to save something for the next time.
Hopefully you will want to hear more but if you dont then we shall part ways now.
Peace be with you
Jannette
My name is Jannette and I have suffered with depression for as long as I can remember.
I am 50 years old and the proud wife of Ian and mother to Richard and Andrew, these are my life. I also have a sort of daughter in law called Charlotte who I love to pieces (sort of as in her and Richard are living over the brush, yes I am old fashioned that way but learning to live with it)!! I also have a possible sort of daughter in law on the horizon called Ellen, she and Andrew have a very complicated relationship as I never know if they are together or not, so watch this space, I am!
I am presently undergoing councelling for my depression along with medication, I have been off work since October / November and have set up this blog for people to read. Hopefully it will help me as I will be using it as a way to express what is on my mind and how I am feeling, also, if there is any one else reading this that is suffering depression too it may help them to realise that they are not alone.
Living with depression is hard not only for the person suffering but the people around them.
I started with it when I hit my early teens, I had a bit of a rough upbringing and it has left me with a lot of hangups, some that I have learned to deal with, others that still rear their ugly heads even now. During this period of writing these will more than likely be written about as and when I feel the need.
Please dont think this is going to be all doom and gloom as once you get to know me you will realise that I cannot be miserable for ever, I have too much life in me, even when I am at an all time low (which I am just on my way back from) it cannot keep me down forever, sometimes you just need a 'time out' to help you recover. Again this is something I am presently gong through.
I hope to update this site at least once a week, preferrably more than this but if for some reason this doesnt happen to be quite as regular as this and you want to hear more then please bear with me. As you will appreciate (especially if your suffering with depression too) it is not always as easy to keep things on an even keel, oh listen to me, is that confidence or what, expecting people to want to read my thoughts!!
You will however realise by getting to know me that my mood swings can be very extreme. I can go from being the life and soul of the party to the wicked witch of the east / west in a split second. This will however deteriorate as my tablets start to take effect again.
I always tried to refuse tablets in the past but about five years ago I had to give in as I couldnt fight on my own any longer. Dont get me wrong, my family have been very supportive and over the years they have learnt to live with my mood swings but there comes a time in everyones life when, as in the words of Donna Summers 'Enough is Enough' wow she sang some brilliant songs, and what a voice, it is plainly obviouse to those of you that know me how she took lessons from me, oops there I go on a different tangent again!!!
Seriously though, after thirty years of fighting to keep the depression away I found myself at a place where I either went to doctors for some help or I just ended my life, I was at an all time low for the life that I had then lived, luckily I took the harder option and went to doctors. Some of you may say how is this the harder option but when you reach a place that you honestly dont think it is worth carrying on and you are not worthy of having a life the easier option is to end it all. That being said, I honestly didnt find either option easy, the thing that kept me going in all honesty was that I didnt want my sons to grow up having to tell their friends that they didn't have a mum because she didn't love them enough to stay with them. I have to admit that they are the ones that have kept me going all along, I cant honestly sat that Ian didnt have any influence on this, obviously he did but he is older and can look after himself, my kids, even when they are 100 will not be able to look after themselves to me.
Oh my goodness, now I have started writing I feel as though I could go on forever but I have to save something for the next time.
Hopefully you will want to hear more but if you dont then we shall part ways now.
Peace be with you
Jannette